I am not happy , at least not now . I hate myself , never be successful enough to make myself happy. There's so many trifles. I want to be a work-alcoholic. Or make myself be a mad one, no other feelings any more . Why? Why such thoughts comes to me after so long a time? It seems I was laughing at others who are low in spirit not long before, but now...
Let it be. After all , everything will be over. Nothing is forever, nothing is impossible. Let it be. There's a turning point not far away.